Onwards and upwards...

So this week I finally received the news I'd been waiting for and as it turns out, it was not the news I had hoped  it would be. Unfortunately I did not get the job that I really wanted at the British international school. The headteacher, while kindly reiterating how much he hoped I could have been a part of the school and assuring me that he will be keeping my name at the 'top' of the list "should a position more closely matched to my experience arise," (this will be of great consolation someday soon when I'm past the initial emotions) informed me that that had chosen another candidate with a lot of experience in teaching the Year one age group and obviously I cannot compete with that.

Although I am sad and disappointed that what I wanted hasn't worked out, I think I am handling the situation brilliantly. I've really surprised myself with how I've reacted to the news and how I've managed to turn it around into a positive situation. I would never have been able to do that before. Without a doubt, I would have seen it as an enormous failure and a rejection. I would have believed, despite anyone's attempts to change my mind, that I was not good enough and that they didn't want me. Whereas now, instead of seeing it as me not being good enough for it, I view it as it not being good enough for me. I am 100% focused on the belief that, as much as I wanted it, it just wasn't meant to be because there is something far more perfect ahead. I'm not entirely sure what that is yet but I believe in it wholeheartedly. My faith is unwavering in this instance and I am extremely proud that I have been able to accomplish that. I think it takes courage to put all your faith in the unknown with the strong believe that everything will work out just the way it's supposed to. I honestly don't know who this girl is, but I'm loving getting to know her!

I went into the application process of that job with the mindset that, 'if I got it then great, I'd stay but if I didn't, it would be my sign to leave Korea and move on to the next chapter of my life.' So that's that. My future has been decided and my fate sealed. After one last attempt on Wednesday evening after finding out, I weighed up all my remaining options, and just like before, none of them felt right leaving me with one last option: leaving Korea and going home. As much as it breaks my heart to think about leaving this country, that will forever be more than just a country to me, and the fact I only have a few months left here, I know I have to accept it and understand that it's time to move on. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe my time here has to come to an end now because I've just recently managed to achieve everything that I came here for. Maybe it's time for me to go home and be the amazing version of myself that Korea has allowed me to find, after all those years of searching, in the place that she belongs ♥